Volume 1, Lesson 6

“Kibud Av va’Eim” part 2

Last week we discussed the ideas of Mora and Kavod.

STORY

“Ok so I’ll go at 5 o’clock and stay until all the kids are sleeping”. This was the phone conversation I had with the chessed organizer in my community. The family really needed help and I was happy to be the one to chap the mitzvah. My mother overheard my phone conversation. She then said, “Leah, I need your help tonight. There is so much cooking to do before Yom Tov. I know that you love to help others and I’m very proud of you. But tonight I need you.” I gasped. Shock overtook me. How could my mother ask me to stay home when people needed help?!

My mother reminded me lovingly that as her child, I am obligated to listen to her even if it means that I have to forgo a different mitzvah. I’ll get the mitzvah of kibud eim instead.

Stretch of the Week

If you are asked to do something by a parent but you are middle of something else, remind yourself that honoring your parents comes above it in most circumstances

Points to Ponder

Give examples and discuss different times when it is permissible to forgo Mitzvos for “Kibud Av Va’Eim”.

Give Examples and discuss times when one must not be Mechabed their parents.

HALACHA

“Special halachos guide our conduct toward parents who are sinners or who are of objectionable character. A child need not obey a parent who instructs him to violate a mitzvah. However, he may at times need to forgo a mitzvah or interrupt his Torah learning in a case where kibbud av takes precedence. A child is not obligated to heed a parent regarding a shidduch, or in a case where his spiritual growth is at stake. Parents should make it as easy as possible for their children to honor them.”-Taken from The code of Jewish Conduct, Rabbi Yitzchak Silver PG 437.

For more information on the Ahavas Yisrael Teen Project please contact Chani at 973 508-2628