Teen Lesson 4
Volume 1, Lesson 4
Last week we discussed the issur of bearing a grudge and taking revenge
We were the best of friends. We did everything together. In 8th grade, we headed the Purim carnival together. We had grand plans for a simchadik event. But something went wrong. I overheard her discussing the plans with a classmate. She took full credit for an activity that we planned together. It was as if I didn’t do anything. This got me mad! Somehow we managed to plan the event. But I hated her the whole time. After the event I dropped her completely. I no longer knew her. She was hurt, I could tell. But I did not care. Time passed but my hatred for her didn’t lessen. I graduated high school and went to seminary. After seminary, I entered shidduchim. The first boy seemed amazing but it was her brother. No way was I going near that shidduch! I was discussing my dilemma with one of my seminary teachers. She pointed out to me that maybe I should just stop hating. It was baseless hatred anyways. What did I really have against her? I had overheard a conversation and didn’t really hear the discussion in its context. It was one event that happened 5 years ago! Why did I hate her?! The hatred melted. I called her, apologized, and although the shidduch didn’t work out, we were friends again!
Stretch of the Week
Think of someone with whom you have difficulty and everyday this week, write down something positive about them
Points to Ponder
There are probably not too many people we truly hate. Of those few individuals though that we are not so fond of, how can the hashkafa “Hashem has put this person and their personality in my life for a reason” help ease the force of this emotion?
“The mitzvah of lo sisna prohibits us from hating any Jew in our heart, with the exception of certain categories of sinners, some of whom we are permitted to hate but must otherwise treat like any other Jew; and others-kofrim-who are in an even more severe category. The Torah delineates what constitutes sinah and advises us regarding how to deal with our negative feelings in acceptable ways. Sinas chinam is dangerous and destructive, and it can lead to a breakdown of family and social harmony, as well as of general Torah observance.”-Taken from The code of Jewish Conduct, Rabbi Yitzchak Silver PG 29
“Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love covers all offenses” - Mishlei 10:12
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