The midda (character trait) Vatranus promotes shalom in the world. Vatranus means to be m'vater, to overlook, give in, or let go of hurt feelings. Why should we let go of hurt feelings in our relationships with others?
This is because HaShem rules the world midda k'negged midda, measure for measure. How I act towards others is how HaShem will act towards me. When I forgive, then I merit HaShem's forgiveness.
Also, Pirkai Avos teaches us that judging others favorably is a midda tova, a good character trait to develop. By working on dan l'chaf z'chus, we will manage to better fulfill several other mitzvos, such as to love your neighbor, to not take reveng
We must recognize that no one can harm us, or benefit us even the slightest bit, or grant us honor, or cause us shame, without a decree from above! Therefore, whoever causes me benefit or causes me harm—whether physically, financially or emotional
One way we benefit from hurt is when it serves as a kappara—an atonement for our sins. At times we may hear someone say with a sigh of resignation: “Oh well, may it be for a kappara." If we truly understood the benefit of an atonement, we woul
The entire world exists in the merit of those people who know when to keep silent. And when is that? At the time of an argument."
There are times when we are being humiliated by others that require remaining silent so that bad decrees can be torn up—even a decree of death! Knowing that, who would give up such an opportunity and risk fighting with the one insulting him?
HaShem might send an angry impatient person to the supermarket to yell at us in front of everyone. We should look at this as if HaShem handed us a winning lottery ticket. Whether or not we can cash it in is up to us.
Money is quite often the reason for strife between people. The Chofetz Chaim's solution in such cases is creating a Shalom Fund.
We know that HaShem does not make mistakes. If we have a difficult person in our lives, it must be because HaShem decided this is exactly what we need. That being the case, we could look at these people as part of our Middos Development Program.
Every time a person performs a mitzva that others aren't aware of, they are making a private Kiddush HaShem. Aside from doing a kindness for someone privately, this would include holding back from speaking lashon hora, using our tools to drop grudge