Review:
Last week’s stretch of the week was: This week when you give someone constructive criticism, do it with compassion and understanding rather than with anger and accusations.
Please allow ONE person to share her experience with this exercise for ONE minute.
Lesson #6
Hochayach Tocheyach es Amisecha
Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh Lazeh
All Jews are Responsible for One Another
Part 2
Jewish Law:
From the time of the giving of the Torah at Mt Sinai, every Jew became responsible for his fellow Jew’s spiritual well being. Therefore, when one person transgresse openly (even if only in front of his/her spouse and children), and those who see him transgressing are capable of protesting and they refrain from doing so, they are held accountable for the transgression. One commentary, Rashi, explains that we are not responsible for the mistakes of our people that are done privately but only for those done publicly as he says, “Everyone is obligated to safeguard the integrity of the entire Jewish people against openly committing mistakes.” (Parshas Nitzavim 29:28)
Our Torah observance is so closely linked to that of our fellow Jews that one Jew can make a blessing on behalf of another to fulfill a Torah obligation such as Kiddush, even if he himself has already fulfilled his obligation.
For the same reason, at times it is preferable for a person to fulfill a mitzvah in more of a minimal form, without stringencies, if doing so will enable another Jew to fulfill the mitzvah as well.
Among the blessings pronounced by the kohanim (holy priests) at Mt Gerizim was, “Blessed is he who upholds all the words of the Torah to do them.” This statement obligates anyone who is capable of strengthening Torah observance in the face of those who seek to uproot it to do his part — whether by founding Jewish institutions, speaking publicly to draw people to Judaism, or thwarting the plots of those who seek to undermine Torah observance.
No one is exempt from this requirement, not even a great Torah scholor who already learns and teaches and observes all the mitzvos, positive and negative; he still carries a responsibility to promote the Torah observance of the Nation.
(Excerpts from The Code of Jewish Conduct by Rabbi Yitzchok Silver)
Story: (based on a true story)
Please let me share with you a story that happened to me a few years ago that shook me to the very core of my being.
I am your basic run of the mill Jewish woman. I don’t claim to pray all the time or constantly help the poor and unfortunate, just a regular person. Please don’t get me wrong. I’ve always tried to grow and become better yet nothing can compare to the “growth spurt” I had four years ago.
I was in the kitchen cooking when I suddenly heard screams coming from the room next door.
“Mommy! Mommy! Come fast! Michael just fell out of the window!” my daughter shouted.
“What?” I thought to myself. “How could Michael have fallen out of the window? Who could have opened it? The children are too young to pull it up let alone maneuver a chair next to the wall, climb up, and fall out?!”
I quickly ran to the room and to my utter shock and dismay saw an open window. I anxiously ran to the other side of the room and peered out the window and saw my poor young son lying on the front lawn appearing to be semi conscious. I dashed down the stairs, ran out the front door, and found my beautiful young child limp and lifeless. I screamed that someone should call 911. Within what seemed
to be an eternity, the ambulance arrived, secured Michael on the gurney and raced to the hospital. I had never been so scared in my life.
The next hour was a whirlwind of doctors, catscans and much fear and doubt. My son had sustained significant head injuries that were life threatening. I sat in the emergency room praying like I had never done before. With each subsequent visit made by each ER physician who’d see my little boy’s head and sigh, I felt an intense pain that can not be compared to anything else I’ve ever experienced. It was from this place of pain that I beseeched G-d in my prayers, “G-d, I will do anything for my son to get better, absolutely anything! Please, G-d, if it means that you would need to take ten years away from my life, I’d gladly give it to him!” I cried and cried.
Miraculously, over the next week Michael began to show signs of improvement but the doctors were not yet sure to the extent that he would suffer from brain damage. As we prayed and hoped over the following weeks and months we began to see Michael make drastic improvements in all areas of his health. The following months had us running from doctor to doctor and test to test but by the same time the following year, Michael had a full and complete recovery.
Michael returned to school and life slowly but surely returned to normal. There was one thought I could not stop dwelling on though. The prayer I made to G-d about taking away ten years of my life was starting to scare me. Was I really thinking clearly when I said that? I just wanted Michael to get better no matter what it would take. I feared for my life and the power of my request. My husband encouraged me to seek rabbinic advice. I made an appointment and within a few days found myself sitting in front of a very special and wise rabbi. After explaining my dilemma, the Rabbi thought for a few minutes and then gave his advice. He expressed that the path to “buying” back the ten years of my life was by doing acts of loving kindness. By feeling a responsibility towards the Jewish people, I should look for opportunities to help other Jews in any way I can. He explained that I should commit to helping with these issues using my personal strengths and talents and devote ten years of my life to doing this to replace the ten years I had “given away”. He mentioned that I did not have to act on my plan immediately but should make the commitment and in doing so would free myself from my plea bargain.
This was a novel concept to me as I was accustomed to mainly thinking about my inner circle of family and friends. Because I hadn’t really thought about helping my community or others I didn’t know well, I wasn’t sure in which way I would channel my efforts. After months of thought, and several hours of discussion with various friends, I realized that enormous amounts of work needed to be tended to and numerous issues were begging to be dealt with. Not wanting to start a plan of action based on impulse, I needed a well thought out plan. I wanted to ensure that I’d be using my time wisely and would truly get to the root of issues that our
community suffers from. While there certainly were so many noble causes and pathways to helping others, I decided that my personal mission was to encourage as many people as possible to learn and grow in their love of fellow Jews.
I have just started my ten year commitment and I feel exhilarated. This exercise has stretched me and enabled me to grow in ways I never knew were possible. To think about the Jewish people and really care about how I can help with my own talents and abilities has helped broaden my mind and expand my thinking. Even though I know that in my case I am extremely motivated to fulfill these ten years with all my heart, I feel that if everyone would care about the Jewish people Yisrael and would think about what they personally could do to show G-d they care about our survival, He surely would bless their efforts and intentions with success.
Discussion Question Options:
What are the greatest issues facing your community today?
In what ways can people take simple steps to help the Jewish people as a whole? When thinking about this question, please consider the fact that the Jewish people encompasses ALL Jews, be they secular, reform, conservative, religious, Sephardic, ashkenazik, etc. (The intention here is not to state labels, only to stress inclusion.)
Should we even bother thinking in terms of the big issues within the Jewish people if we feel we can’t do anything about them?
Stretch of the Week:
Brainstorm on ways that you can help your community and/or the Jewish people by using your own set of unique talents and abilities.